Feeling Lonely Working Alone? How Introverts and Neurodivergent Solopreneurs Can Find Their People
Working for yourself is meant to be the dream. No boss, no commute, your own hours. What nobody really warns you about is how quiet it can get.
I've been self-employed for years, first running my tiny transcription business with my baby on my lap 60 hours per week, home alone, then my LinkedIn training business, and now running The HoLT, and for most of that time I've been the only person in the business. I'm also an introvert and neurodivergent (AuDHD), which means the usual advice for loneliness ("just get out there and network!") has never quite worked for me.
If you're feeling lonely working alone, this post is for you. We'll look at why it happens, why the standard fixes don't suit everyone, and what really can help.
Why does working alone feel so lonely?
Working alone feels lonely because you lose all the small, unplanned contact a workplace gives you without you noticing. The chat while the kettle boils, the colleague who asks how your weekend was, someone to turn to when a client email makes your stomach drop.
On your own, every win, wobble and decision sits with you. Friends and family care, but they don't always understand the ups and downs of running a business. Over time that can leave you feeling cut off, even if you see plenty of people outside work.
Being an introvert doesn't make you immune, either. Introverts often need less social contact, not none! Enjoying your own company and feeling lonely can both be true at once - it’s a paradox I’ve battled with for years!
You're not the only one feeling this
If this sounds familiar, you're far from alone. Here's how Simon Bostock, a HoLT member, described going solo:
"No team anymore, no coffee chat moments - after 28 years in corporate the silence was deafening when I went out alone."
Erin Elizabeth felt the same:
"I have been feeling very solo in my journey and The HoLT helped me feel grounded, resourced, and way less alone."
Why traditional networking doesn't work for everyone
The go-to advice for loneliness is to get out and network. But for many introverts and neurodivergent people, a room full of strangers, loud small talk and an unpredictable agenda is draining rather than energising. You go, you smile, you come home exhausted, and you still haven't made a real connection. And it’s even more restrictive if you’re a single or solo parent. Every evening outing requires military-style planning, that’s if you’ve still even got the energy to ‘people’ after a busy day running a business and looking after kids!
But that doesn't mean you're bad at connecting. It means the format just doesn't suit you.
How can introverts connect without burning out?
Connection works best for introverts when it's low pressure, small scale and on your own terms. A few things that help:
Start by watching. It's fine to read along in a group chat, or join a call with your camera off, until you get a feel for the people.
Pick small groups over big rooms. A breakout of four or five people is far easier than a crowd of fifty.
Use writing if talking feels hard. Chat threads and messages let you take your time and say what you mean without panicking that your mouth might betray you.
Meet people before you meet them. If you're going to an event alone, connect with a few attendees online first, so there’s at least a few familiar faces when you arrive.
Choose spaces with no pressure to perform. You should never feel obliged to speak, share or turn your camera on.
These are the principles I built The HoLT around, because as an introvert they're what I needed too. Members can chat in the app, dip into optional WhatsApp groups, or come on calls with their camera off. Everyone gets a welcome call with me, so there's a friendly face from day one. And for people coming to in-person events on their own, we usually set up a group WhatsApp beforehand.
You also don't need to be the loudest voice to belong. John Brophy, a self-confessed non-sharer, says:
"I'm not much of a sharer and if I'm completely honest I'm probably a terrible community member in that I don't regularly contribute... But, I have found a bunch of my people. Some I've met in person, and some who just sit in one of the random WhatsApp group chats that mostly talk absolute nonsense and have a laugh. We barely ever talk about business in there, but knowing those other people are having similar days to me and then being able to share my musings on corned beef sandwiches or Mr. Blobby encourages me to engage pretty much every day, while knowing that if I needed something serious at any point every one of them would come running immediately."
What makes a community neurodivergent friendly?
A neurodivergent-friendly community gives you choice: in how you take part, how you take in information and how much you get contacted. If you're looking for one, here's what to check for:
Recordings of every session, so you can catch up when your energy allows
Subtitles on video content
Different formats, like short videos and written summaries, for people who'd rather read than watch
Control over notifications, so you're not overwhelmed by emails and alerts
Calendar syncing and reminders, so it's easy to keep track of what's on
A predictable rhythm, with regular sessions you can plan around
An understanding culture, where being very chatty and being very quiet are both completely fine.
As a neurodivergent founder, I've tried to build all of this into The HoLT. Our masterclasses are subtitled and recorded, there are bite-sized mini masterclasses and PDF summaries, and members can choose a weekly round-up or individual event invites that sync straight to their calendar.
Build small habits of connection into your week
Feeling less lonely usually isn't about one big event. It comes from small, regular moments of contact with people who get it. Some ideas to try:
A weekly check-in call with other business owners, ideally in small groups
Body doubling, where you work quietly alongside others on a video call to help you focus
Co-working days, so you get the office chat back without the office
Something social that isn't about work, like a book club or a games night
A group chat you can dip into for advice, feedback, or just letting off steam
At The HoLT, that looks like Friday community calls (usually 20 to 30 people, split into smaller groups), monthly speed networking, body doubling sessions, in-person co-working days around the UK, a book club, a wellness circle and the odd murder mystery night. None of it is compulsory. You pick what suits you.
Belonging takes time, and that's OK
Finding your people doesn't happen overnight, but in the right space it can happen quicker than you'd think. Laura Ash said this after her first week:
"I feel like I have the biggest virtual office full of people I can chat, connect with and get help and support from."
For others, it's about learning to trust people again. Robyn MacMillan joined during a hard time:
"I joined the HoLT at a time where I was at my lowest... personally I was the darkest I had been. The HoLT supported me to allow myself to trust people again."
And for Simon, the reason he stays has very little to do with business:
"People who get it, who share, who help. I came for the business advice, but I stay for the people."
We loved what Leesa Morris had to say just a few months after she joined, and I think most of us can relate to it:
“I love working from home and I love the fact that I get to sit in my pants all day if I want to (and I often want to). But I'm also a human and it gets lonesome sometimes. The HoLT has given me a whole bunch of ways to chat to other (very lovely) people! There are a bunch of in-person and online meetups to choose from, and don't get me started on the live masterclasses. But what I really love are the weekly community calls. They're like a ray of sunshine peeking into my home office, reminding me that I'm not on my own”.
Whatever community you choose, look for one where people genuinely help each other. But if you’re thinking about The HoLT, Damian Miller sums us up so well:
"“I didn’t realise when I joined the HoLT just how much I would come to rely on the amazing members to help fill the void of working alone every single day. Just to have such an awesome, supportive gang of humans in your corner means so much and I no longer feel alone in the ongoing solo business battle.”
You don't have to do this alone
If working alone has started to feel lonely, take it seriously, but be kind to yourself about it. You don't need to become more outgoing. You just need the right people, in a format that works for you.
If you'd like a community built with introverts and neurodivergent people in mind, The HoLT might be that place.
FAQS
Is it normal to feel lonely working for yourself? Yes, very. Losing the everyday contact of a workplace is a big change, and many freelancers and solopreneurs feel isolated, even when they love their work.
Can introverts feel lonely? Yes. Introverts often need less social time, but they still need connection. Enjoying your own company and feeling lonely can both be true.
How can introverts network without burning out? Choose small groups and low-pressure formats. Online spaces where you can watch first, write rather than speak, and keep your camera off until you're ready are a good place to start.
What should a neurodivergent-friendly business community offer? Recordings, subtitles, written summaries, control over notifications, calendar syncing, and a culture with no pressure to perform.
Is The HoLT introvert and neurodivergent friendly? Yes. It's run by an introverted, neurodivergent founder. There's no pressure to attend anything or turn your camera on, and sessions are subtitled and recorded, with PDF summaries.
